I’m fed up with the diet roller coaster

Manifestation Manifesto Staff replied 9 years ago

Dear Fed Up,

Thank you so much for sharing your issue with me. This is a subject near and dear to my heart. I’ve dealt with this myself and I understand your frustration and feel your pain. I have a lot to say on this matter, so bear with me.

Let me just start with a disclaimer: It is perfectly fine to not be thin, despite what the media and Hollywood might want you to believe. Bodies in all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Some people feel quite comfortable with carrying extra weight and feel their curves are natural, sexy and appealing. Good for them! Having a healthy self-image is a life-long issue for many, and whoever can achieve a positive one – regardless of their size – should be commended.

However, as you expressed in your letter, you are not comfortable carrying extra weight: It makes you feel unhappy, guilty, and uncomfortable. Many people feel this way about not being thin and this pervasive attitude is literally a crime against humanity: It’s pitting the human against herself for being human.

However, there are those who will argue that any extra weight puts you at risk health wise. This is may be true. But let me also point out that from a health standpoint, you can carry extra weight and still have a healthy heart, and be thin as a rail and have high cholesterol. It depends on the individual. The scale is not the only indicator of physical health. On the other side of the coin, there are plenty of thin, fit people who are not emotionally or mentally healthy when it comes to their weight. You don’t have to be anorexic or bulimic to be so obsessed with staying thin that it consumes your thoughts and life. Mind you, I’m not advocating being overweight: I’m just helping you see that being thin doesn’t necessarily make you healthy. It’s not that cut and dry.

You are not truly healthy if it’s just your body that’s in good shape: Your mind and emotions need to be in a good place, as well. As a society, we commend people who adhere to strict diets and exercise regiments – after all the results are a great looking body. However, having your ego wrapped up in your fitness level and appearance is also a form of self-punishment on a different level.

In that respect, a physically fit, diet and exercise addict is no healthier mentally or emotionally than someone who suffers from obesity. It’s really the same issue manifesting in different ways: Love of self wrapped up in physical appearance. Both beating yourself up for not looking a certain way and being obsessively consumed with maintaining the perfect body are the result of an unhealthy body image. The difference, however, is that the thin-obsessed are praised for their appearance, so at least this group is getting approval and support from society regardless of how frantic and insecure they may feel on the inside.

Regardless of what end of the spectrum you fall on, this is for sure: The need for body perfection is an ego need. The soul is perfect and has nothing to prove. The ego is imperfect and is wrapped up in proving itself otherwise. The soul suffers in silence when the ego is in control. When the ego is off on a bender, it holds your thoughts and emotions hostage. The soul has a hard time getting through to you about how inherently perfect you are when it’s ganged up on.

I don’t know what issues in life you’re dealing with, as you didn’t share them in your letter. But it’s my opinion that over eating, turning to food for comfort, using food as a drug, and eating for reasons other than physical hunger are not problems unto themselves but instead symptoms of an even deeper problem. The drive to eat to survive lives in the oldest part of the brain. It’s deep rooted and not something we have as much control over as we think. Willpower is no match for this ancient, primal need to eat and survive.

In astrology, instincts and eating are connected to the Moon, as is the nurturing love of the mother. It’s the subconscious, what’s hidden, the inner child. I’m not trying to turn this into an astrological discussion, however, I like how astrology interconnects these qualities. The Moon rules the sign of Cancer: Show up at a Cancer’s doorstep and get a hot meal, warm blanket, a sympathetic ear and a warm hug. Ahh…. Feels nice, right?

When we are searching for comfort, we instinctively turn to food because food is tied to this old-brain nurturing. The foods we turn to when we’re looking for comfort are often filled with sugar and fat, which for physiological reasons give us a natural high. Let’s face it: There’s a reason why ice cream is a comfort food and celery isn’t.

I’m not saying that people who overeat all have mommy issues. No, that would make this a psychological problem and what I’m saying goes much deeper than the brain. This is a spiritual problem.

I believe there is a soul-level hunger that mimics the actual physical appetite. When we are not living lives in line with our soul’s purpose, we feel empty inside. Hungry to feel connected. We subconsciously confuse this emptiness with physical hunger and attempt to fill it with food rather than with making changes in our lives that put us in touch with our Divine guidance. We turn to food to fill us when there is a disconnect between how we’re currently living our lives and our personal missions on earth for this lifetime. Your subconscious uses food in an attempt to create a bridge between reality to fulfillment.

This is really why diets don’t work: Because they don’t address the real problem. They address the result of the problem. But until you get to the root of the matter, even if you loose weight and keep it off for a while, the result will inevitably be the same.

So instead of asking yourself, “How do I get off the weight loss rollercoaster once and for all?” dig deeper. Are you happy? Do you feel as if you are fulfilling your life’s purpose? Do you have dreams that you’re ignoring? Are you doing what you feel you’re called to do? These are the questions you need to really ask yourself before starting another weight reduction program. You can’t start working on your body before working on your spiritual needs. And you’ll probably find that once your inner most needs and desires are being addressed, your mind, body and emotions will get into synch and will naturally start falling into place.

On a final note, I want you to become more aware of how you talk about this issue: Do you use words like “problem” and “struggle” when describing your relationship to food? Not only does the Universe respond to negative thoughts with more negative thoughts with the law of attraction, the words you consistently use are self-hypnotic.

For instance, the word “lose” in the phrase “lose weight” sends a signal to your subconscious about losing, the opposite of winning. The phrases “battle of the bulge”, or “struggling with my weight”, send the message to your subconscious that you are fighting or at war with yourself. And the phrase “trying to diet” is probably the most miserable phrase ever uttered: To start with, is there a more depressing word in the modern lexicon than diet? And the word “trying” subtly admits defeat. How do you expect to be at peace when you are subconsciously setting yourself up for a loss and an exhausting battle?

Replace those phrases with ones that are kinder and gentler like, “I’m working on achieving a healthy weight” or “I’m eating healthier, now”. I know this concept may sound foreign, but by using words and phrases to describe your journey toward a healthier body and body image that are positive and kind, you are conditioning your subconscious to see the process as a positive and kind one.

Remember, it’s our feelings (our beliefs and the emotions that are a result of these beliefs) that create our realities: If you have hatred toward your body you will get a body you hate. Your body is not the enemy. Instead, it is the reflection of your innermost beliefs about yourself and your place in the world. It doesn’t matter how thin you get, as you’ve learned. If you don’t address what you need in order to feel peace, happiness and self-love, you will still feel disconnected and lost when you’re thin and will, as history has proven, sabotage your efforts and go back to your old ways.

Again, thank you for sharing your issue with me and allowing me the opportunity to speak freely about it. I hope I’ve given you some things to think about and have opened your eyes to a new perspective. I wish you the very best.

Peace and love,

MM