The next time a single friend looking for love complains, “All guys are the same,” look her straight in the eye and say: “No. All of the guys that you attract are the same. Don’t blame the guys. Blame yourself.”
Just kidding. Don’t say that. She’ll hate you. (Even though you’re right.)
Nobody wants to hear they’re to blame. After all, “blame” is an ugly word with negative connotations. So let’s instead say we’re accountable. “Accountable” is a strong, take-charge word full of integrity and possibility. Accountable it is.
We are accountable for our lives and the decisions we make in our lives. Accountability is intrinsically connected to our free will. There’s power in accountability. Yet, it’s amazing how many of us refuse to recognize our accountability. We’d rather see ourselves as powerless victims of bad luck.
“Another crappy boss. I just can’t win.”
“Another apartment with a leaky roof. Figures.”
“Another rude waiter. He probably spit in my food.” (Probably.)
It’s like a mission to make sure nothing ever changes. Plus complainers always find other complainers to commiserate with, adding more energetic fuel to the fire – after all misery loves company. Misery also loves to compete for the title, “The Biggest Victim.” But believe me, there are no winners in that game.
However, there’s an infinitely more enjoyable “game of life” that you can play called “Spot the Pattern.” And with this game there are all sorts of prizes to be won.
Our beliefs, and our emotional attachment to our beliefs, create a specific frequency of energy. These “vibes” attract more of the same or similar energy into our lives in the form of jobs, boyfriends, bosses, waiters, everything. Basically, our internal thoughts and beliefs shape our external world. This, in a nutshell, is the Law of Attraction.
Patterns emerge throughout our lives because the same beliefs we hold at a subconscious level shape our experiences and never change. That’s because you need to recognize a problem before you can change it.
But if you’re so wrapped up with looking outside yourself for someone or something to blame, how can you objectively look inside yourself to uncover where and how you’ve been accountable for perpetuating a negative pattern?
Negative patterns are wake up calls that alert you to the fact that your beliefs and actions are not in alignment with who you really are and what you’re here to accomplish. Conversely, positive patterns are your reward for turning your mindset and beliefs around, resulting in a much more authentic and fulfilling existence.
At first it may feel foreign and contrived, but you must make a conscious effort to change your way of thinking in order to create new and more positive belief system. Do what you have to: Meditate. Hypnotize yourself. Pray. Play subliminal messages while you sleep. Write a story about the life you wish to manifest as if it has already happened. Don’t stop until you find what works.
Ask the Universe for assistance during this process: It has your back and sincerely wants you to succeed. You will be shocked at how quickly old patterns will dissolve and new, more positive experiences will enter your life. Just be prepared: After new patterns of thoughts and beliefs have become a part of your experience, there is absolutely no turning back. Once a lesson is truly learned, relapsing into old negative patterns is nearly impossible.
