Manifestation Manifesto Staff asked 9 years ago
Dear Manifestation Manifesto,
I have been at my job for almost 15 years, making decent money with great benefits and vacation time. However, I am not challenged anymore, not to mention that the opportunity for advancement is basically zero. I’ve been interviewing at other places but haven’t found any other jobs around the same salary or that would offer the challenges I’m looking for. Eventually, my husband and I would like to relocate to another city where we’d have lots of property and a quieter way of life. But the pay range in that area is 1/3 or less of what I’m making now. I’m so settled in a comfortable job right now with reliable income. Our house is in a neighborhood where its value is 70% less than what we paid for it, so we’d have to sell it at a huge loss or walk away from it with a hit on our credit.
So my question is – how do I balance happiness with security? I’m miserable at my job but feel a move would hurt us even more. Should we move and hope for the best, should we stay in our house and look for other employment in the area, or should I stay at my job to earn money for a while until we can pay off some debt and then move forward? How do I make all this happen so I can be happy in both my work and personal life?
Signed,
Mixed Up in Michigan
Dear Michigan,
First, let me start by saying it’s an honor that you’ve entrusted me with your problem. I’m going to look at this issue from the point of view of what the Universe may be trying to teach you. My goal is to help you look at the situation through the lens of spiritual growth and to consider how this situation is not so much a problem but rather an opportunity to grow.
You asked, “How do I balance happiness with security?” In my opinion, you’re currently balancing neither. Right now you need to tackle, “How can I expect to be happy when I’m riddled with doubts and insecurity?”
Joy will evade you when you have no trust in the Universe’s ability to provide for you. Believe it or not your security is not contingent on your job. Instead, security is contingent on a deep felt belief that you are safe, unconditionally loved and protected by a benevolent Universe. You need to believe that deep down and to live like your needs are being taken care of now and forever.
You create your reality with your attitude and the Universe always matches like energy. Start by changing your perspective today. For instance, instead of saying, “I’m miserable at my job but feel a move would hurt us even more,” tell yourself, “By making changes, things can only get better.” Just that shift in perspective can very well bring about the opportunities for change that you’re waiting for. Expecting misery will only bring more misery.
The belief that a “steady job” is more important than your personal happiness is such a pervasive problem in our society, so ingrained in our collective consciousness, that no one really challenges it. Everyone has accepted this kind of unhappiness because “that’s just how it is.” But it’s really a form of giving your power away. So what if you have great vacation time? You can’t really enjoy your vacation when you dread going back to your job. So what if you have great benefits? You wouldn’t need them if your job wasn’t making you sick.
You are experiencing a battle between the ego and the heart. The heart knows what it needs to be happy and the ego uses fear to block you from that happiness. It really doesn’t mean harm, it’s just scared. The ego, which lives in the head, will use all sorts of logic to psyche you out of your dreams. And sadly, in our society, logic always seems to win. For some reason we’re conditioned to believe the head is smarter than the heart. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.
I think the most direct message from your soul in your letter is: “Eventually, my husband and I would like to relocate to another city where we’d have lots of property and a quieter way of life.”
Have you considered that maybe your soul’s purpose is somehow tied to this move? By not moving you’re very possibly ignoring your intuition and your inner guidance. You will not be truly happy until you’re doing, or are on the path to doing, what you came here to do. When you attach your happiness to external factors like how much your making, the illusion of security, and what you can afford, the return on the investment of your property, you are still ignoring what makes you happy. Regardless of what your ego may be telling you about what can and can’t be done, what you need is an environment and job that’s in line with your soul’s purpose and inner nature. This wisdom resides in your heart and you need to follow it.
Stop letting your ego tell you lies about your current property and its value. If you convince yourself that the property you’re holding on to has no worth, then you are not appreciating the home you have. And if you don’t appreciate it, you’re not going to get something to appreciate handed back to you by the Universe: You always need to appreciate what you have first in order to get more in your life to appreciate. Change your perception of your current home. If you send the message to the Universe, “My home has value, and someone would be lucky to have it,” then you’ll be more likely to attract a buyer than looking at it as the albatross that you do.
From my perspective, the overall lesson you may be from this situation is one about valuing yourself and your need to be happy above all else.
Right now you’re keeping your happiness in the future, when you have the perfect job and perfect house in the perfect place and that’s where it will stay. Things don’t have to be in perfect place to be happy. You can be happy today if you just change your thoughts and beliefs about your current reality. Put your happiness first. The security will follow. Any step in the direction you want to go in will result in feeling happier. Your happiness will attract abundance.
Hanging on to what’s not right doesn’t let what is right flow into your life. Your need for security is really coming from fear, and fear is telling your ego that you can’t have both happiness and security. That’s a lie. When you are happy, and at peace with your life, there is no greater feeling of security. Money can’t buy that security.
Recognize that by shedding away things that make you unhappy, you are not only getting to the core of what does make you happy, the Universe will feel that happy vibration and will match that vibration. An insecure or unhappy vibration will simply match you with the same. If you don’t start shedding what makes you unhappy on your own, the Universe will take action and do it for you. Think of the Tower card in the Tarot deck: The major shakeup needed to bring about change. You have the power to get change in motion without the Universe needing to take drastic measures.
Just trust in the Universe and keep focused on what feeds your soul, not what lines your pockets. And if what lines your pockets right now is somehow enabling you to feed your soul, switch your focus on to the happiness rather than the current job. Don’t give that job any more power over you than it deserves. Consider it, instead, as a means to an end: A small part of your life that currently makes ends meet.
On a final note, you refer to your home as “our house.” I know you have a husband, but do you also have children you feel responsible for? Do you feel like you are letting your whole family down by choosing your happiness over a life of discontent? In my opinion, if your family feels that your responsibilities to them are causing you great unhappiness, this can result in guilt and resentment. Not to mention, they are not seeing or getting the best of you. You need to take the weight of the world off your shoulders. And if you do in fact have kids, it may also be a lesson on their path to see a parent take a leap of faith in the name of happiness. The lesson of faith and trusting in the benevolence and the infinite abundance of the Universe cannot come too soon.
I hope this perspective not only resonates, but reverberates throughout your next steps on your journey. Of course I only know what you’ve told me, so I’m going to work with that information. If there is information pertinent to the situation that you left out and would like to add, please feel free to leave it in the comments section and we can leave it up to discussion. And remember, I’m trying to help you shift your perspective; you should most definitely consult a professional for any psychological or financial advice or major life changes.
Light and love to you,
MM